Poems I use to help the overly mundane and blah!

To my Dirty Little Girls after Losing one of your own:


In a time of dragons and ghouls,

There lived two princesses,

That were locked away for two simple rules.



One was for naughtiness undefined,

The other was for back talking to mankind.

Their lives were spared on all Hallow’s eve,

Due to debauchery, lust and greed.



The two princesses dwelt in a tower of brick,

The naughty, blonde was heard running around screaming “Rick!”

The other young maiden shouted curses at the guards,

Like MF your mom, and she threw her food saying, “I’m gonna bite your nards!”



These two maidens were a sight to behold,

Living the dream and laughing at the old,

Now, to these two, luck is fleeting,

They both talk of balls and how they take a beating



Though due to today’s lack of the third to complete their coven,

I remark to the one with bun in the oven.

Lean over to your new compadre in arms,

Say Dustin please don’t be alarmed,

But with Lacey here we talk of balls and dick,

But you know what Dustin, “Rick, Rick, Rick!”


For the L-Dogg:

In this time of separation from dad and mom,

Believe me when I say, bake something,

Cause that shizzle you gave us was bomb.



Now today is dreary and wet and dirty,

Hey, that’s how I feel everyday,

And you will too, once you reach the age of thirty.



You need to call your fam damily once in a while,

Let us know you are hunky-dunky

I bet as you are reading this you are cracking a smile.



I want to drop on you some back woods country Schoolin’

Be what you are, and don’t take no for an answer,

And at night tape your lips together to stop droolin’



I know this poem is lame, but its all I got,

I bet if you asked Emily about today,

She would say, “Here’s my belly, lets do jello shots!”



Oh lookie there, the clock keeps tocking then a tick,

Hey Glo and Emily, hook a sister up,

When you call her, whisper, “Rick, Rick, Rick!”


To the New Cock in the Hen House:

Well, well, well the time has come,
for lonely nights to become news
a booty call and erotic dream have their fun.

To the fan of the stories, I must sing the blues,
because one is wrong and one is lost,
but to them both one takes what she wants and one is being used.

Don't dream of reading filth and dream of being tossed,
While awake, watch the Bang Bus and see the man erupt,
And then you might get choked out spanked or cussed.

To the booty call, I am sorry you had to learn this and man up,
She is trying to eat cake and delay the having it too,
But from pimp to pimp there is only one thing you can do,
Answer the calls here and there, treat her like a goddess,
Then get her in the front seat of the truck and rip off her bodice,
She will act like she has never done this before,
Just look at her and smirk and think your daddy's dirty little whore,
Rip her clothes, spank her hard, and pull some hair out,
She can only wrap her legs around you, and scream and shout,
I can only say this from one man-hoe to another,
Please don't treat her like you would your mother,
She deserves to be thrown around, her belly button tickled from inside her gut,
But always remember, act like this is your last time, so put your thumb in her butt.


The Lost Art Form of the Limerick:


Emily was the name of this hooker,

She was dirty, but still quite a looker,

She flicked her bean while alone,

Plays the Rusty Trombone,

And an Elephant with an Afro will spook her.



Gloria was limber, but taught,

She likes the shocker a lot,

But with some lube and a rub,

Drink the hell out of E-Dub,

She got tied up in a Dog-Knot.



Lacey was cute and sweet,

But she was looking for the “Big” meat

She dressed up like a whore,

Got the business now she’s sore,

Now she can’t sit down for a week.