In all seriousness these are the rules for engagement in relationship combat. If you don't believe that finding your "soul mate", "Mr./Mrs. Right" or "Mr. /Mrs. Right Now" is not unlike War, then you are never going to be happy in a relationship or find one that is worthy of you for that matter. I would like to share with you a few excerpt's from a book, called "The Art of War", written by Sun Tzu in the 2nd century B.C. He was Chinese Military Commander that had a genius for strategy and philosophy. I will go out on limb here and try to educate and correlate his writings to Relationship woes for the Gen-Xer's and generations Y and Z.
I believe that almost anything can tell a story or relate to an individual on a personal level, the purveyor's of such mystical verboseness and boundless comprehension of gender-based kinship are rare. There are few of us born unto this Earth, yet we are all underutilized for unvarnished parlor tricks or someones vain attempts to control others, and the Oracle that brings news and direction to a lost world. I said all that to say this, only a few use me to my potential...I was just trying to be wordy for my own craft and ego....I appreciate you reading....now on to the wisdom or lore, if you will, of relationships.
I will take a few of Sun Tzu's quotes about warfare and try to explain what the correlation is between War and Relationships. They always say, "all is fair in love and war", but they (whoever they are) never explain themselves.
All of these so called Philosophical Proverbs need to be read in the context of your life, meditated on and then discussed. If you need comment and I shall try to answer.
A leader leads by example not by force -
If you were to be a leader or a follower in the relationship, as a Leader you must always be a great example of compassion, understanding and patience. If you are a follower, these 3 values are what you should be seeking in another.
Because it is the actions that speak more about a persons soul, character, shakras, etc.; than what can be expressed in the written word. It is the word that shapes "ideas", but it is putting actions to the ideas that can change the world.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized -
Do you remember the movie Dead Poet's Society? In it, Robin Williams describes to a class of young and impressionable minds what the term "Carpe Diem" means. "Seize the Day!", he exclaimed.
How much life would be lived if you seized things as they made themselves open to you? How about how much passion for the day or life would you truly experience if you lived fearless (without fear of retribution)?
The Ancient Greeks didn't give soft eulogies after a person died, they only asked one question...Did they have Passion?
All I can say is, if many people would get over the fear of being rejected, looking stupid in public or just plain getting embarrassed...then there would be little need for Oprah, Dr. Phil, Psychologists...pharmaceuticals.
Live free and when you see an opportunity to capture something you want then do it, be patient and calculating...cause the "opportunity" is a delicate and fleeing thing. It gets frightened at pressure, wrong timing and surprise. Opportunity must be nurtured, cared for and mindfully watched; then and only then can it be plucked as a ripened fruit from the tree of life and eaten with all its fresh and bold flavors, bursting in your mouth.
It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle -
If I have to go to deep into this one, then I am sorry and understanding will never overtake you. For a relationship to be entered in and maintained, you must first know who you are. If you do this, but never learn the other person, then you have a 50/50 shot at having a decent relationship, lasting...eh, that remains to be seen. If you never understand yourself, or your potential partner, then you will have a chance at 100% failure for each relationship that you enter.
Now, if you understand yourself, honestly and study your potential mate...and honestly understand what they need in different situations or even if they match up with you at all, you have a chance at 100% Success. Now, just because I said that you studied the other person and found wrongs that do not coincide with your character, then you have the option of choice. You can go through the pile of throwaways and find the one keeper, and it should not take to long to this.
In the practical art of war, the best thing of all is to take the enemy's country whole and intact; to shatter and destroy it is not so good. So, too, it is better to recapture an army entire than to destroy it -
If you were to place yourself in a battle for a relationship...you cannot destroy the other persons heart, mind, spirit, attributes, nature, etc.; you have to take the others entire heart mind and soul, without a battle. Sound difficult? Well, I am not saying you can't disagree, but when the disagreement turns to name calling, insulting and hurtful things you can't take back then the relationship is doomed to become a barren country, that cannot produce its own sustenance, that can keep it alive and well.
The best victory is when the opponent surrenders of its own accord before there are any actual hostilities. It is best to win without fighting -
This sort of mimics the above proverb, but if you meet your true soul mate, then you surrender without trying to find their quirks, bad habits or just something that is flawed, just to say, "see...we are not probably going to make it." Instead you give yourself freely for you know you will be received freely and without conviction and malevolence. Because if you surrender, they will also...and then peace.
Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate. -
If at any point in time, your partner becomes aggressive in nature to the point of attacking you verbally or any other way, then do what I always do. I listen defensively. I weather the storm...I let the aggression run its course, continue to be nice and say nothing. Then I wait again, because the opposition will soon use all of its resources in the one barrage of attacks. If you can out last this, then you have achieved a higher level of victory, due to the fact that now you have the choice to attack and slay or be merciful....choose mercy, mercy will be rewarded. Slaying will just spell the end of the relationship.
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